Three Mary Sues for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Mary Sue to rule them all, One Mary Sue to find them,
One Mary Sue to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
…
Have you guys seen Caligula, the 1979 film staring McDowell? At my 20s and as a classicist, I watched it yesterday night. It’s an awfully good film. Although it’s quite awfull in the moral sense too, so I thought I’d need something sweeter to increase my level of sugar in blood after that interesting experience. So I’m just gonna make some black coffee and start writing down the review I mentally prepared for the ocasion.
The said fanfiction is Legacy: The Fellowship of the Ring: (dunno why the author ended the title with a colon) by avatargrl11.
When a teenage girl dies from a severe beating, she finds herself in Middle Earth in the company of the Fellowship of the Ring, and a certain Elven prince has his eye on her… Formerly titled “Bound”.
Oooookay little shits! Before starting, I wanna say that this fanfiction is really really well written. And I’m saying this with the Irony Mode off.
Having said that, I always wonder the same question when reading fanfictions about girls fallen from the nowhere in the very middle of the Tolkienian Middle Earth:
Do they know?
Do they know about the Tolkienian universe?
Because if they know, if they recognize the characters, the first thing that would come up to my mind if that happened to me would be “FUCK, I’M IN THE LOTR BOOKS!!!11!11″ and the second thing would probably be “Let’s flirt with Arwen I must be dreaming “. How does our heroine react?
“Okay, so you tell me I’m an Elf. Then you tell me I’m on Middle-Earth. Then you tell me you guys are the Fellowship of the Ring?!” She put her head in her hands. “This is just too much.” Aragorn looked over at her. “As strange as that may seem to you, Karina, it’s the truth.” Karina stood up, knocking her bowl over. “There is nothingtrue about this place! Middle-Earth is nothing but a story!”
I think that the 99% of girls fallen from the sky in the Middle Earth react in the same way: they immediately think everything is real. They don’t even consider the possibility of being on the set of a movie, a (live action) roleplaying game, or the simpliest one, dreaming. If that were to happen to me, I’d rather think I’m in Matrix than in the Tolkienian Universe. But well, every single human being is different, and I cannot criticize the girl’s reaction.
About the girl… yeah, let’s talk about her: she was human, and after dying she awakes being and elf (¿¿¿???) instead of human. Here we have her description:
Legolas set the young girl down in the grass and studied her. She had lightly tanned skin and wavy auburn hair that cascaded down to her waist. By the looks of her, her physical appearance was about 18 Human years of age.
Legolas, you perverted elf!! Sneaking a look at a poor girl that almost drowned! And, of course, she also has a very very sad sad background:
“You bitch! You killed my wife!”
“Dad! I didn’t! I swear!” I could smell the stench of alcohol on his breath. When my dad got drunk, he got violent. Very violent. This was no exception.
Back to a point I’ve mentioned above, by the dialogues of the first chapter I’ve understood that our heroine AKA Karina is very aware that she is in the LOTR universe. But then…
why on earth didn’t she alert them of THIS?
…or this…
…or even THIS SHIT?
The balrog scene is epic! Even those who are not fan of LOTR remember that scene! Isn’t it, Sam?
Sniff 😥
And about the common sense of the Fellowship… I don’t know, but if you find a woundedgirl elf who can barely defend herself, the most reasonable thing to do is leave her somewhere where she’ll be safe. I’m not saying they should abandon her in the middle of the woods, but taking her to Mordor is not really the most sensible thing to do, in my humble opinion.
Legolas released him, and dusted himself off. “You will show respect to our new companion.” Karina stared at him. “C-Companion?” Legolas nodded. “If the others agree.” He glared at Boromir while saying this.
So they take her to an adventure… that turned out to be a lovey-dovey COPY-PASTE of the first movie. I SWEAR. The dialogues are the SAME. And guess what? If you take that girl elf out of the fanfiction, NOTHING CHANGES. It’s like reading the script of the movie. She doesn’t contribute in anything at all.
A good thing, however, is that the characters are generally enough themselves for me not to criticize it. Maybe the most OoC I’ve read in the fanfic is Legolas (and only sometimes).
And before finishing this review, I wanna give you guys a present ❤ (having in mind that the author seem to be a fan of Avatar: the last Airbender), because it’s impossible to read something related to the LOTR fandom without thinking about this song.
See yaaaa, little shits!
Of Monsters and Authors 